Data Aficionado Gifts

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

'You say you always give 110% effort-an odd answer for a job as a statistician. . .'

"Up a little more on the left."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"Call me?"

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Driverless cars rage.

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"What did you download at school today?"

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Bot Art: After da Vinci