Darkness Dweller T-Shirts

I see you found somewhere cool, dry and safe to keep your books! Yes, but it's too dark to read in here!

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

A man rakes a tree

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

Student Food Pyramid

Christmas tree exchange

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'Anyway. Long story short. It turns out that I am not, in fact, Spiderman.'

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

Keep Off The Hay

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

Paper Production

A man emerges from a tree stump

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

"I like this one, it looks lived in."

Welcome to Kew Gardens

Lumberjack - Yew Tube.

Please use other dimension.

'Step one inexploring a newly discovered cave- wade thru the bat guano.'

"He'll never be good enough to snatch this pebble from my hand."

Reindeer hiding from hunter

Absolut Cullum.

"Tarzan didn't want to downsize, but he took an early retirement – and then Jane got the axe."

A vampire with a darkness flashlight

"Once you've been caught in the headlights life seems somehow inexorably changed."

'The nice thing about being a skunk is you never need to wear insect repellent.'