Dark Humor Appreciator Gifts

"I'm afraid the shark got your arms and legs. It's probably not a good time, but your brother's here. He needs a kidney."

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

Childhood memories. Repressed memories.

"Here at Hazmat Acres we take pride in our beautiful mystery mounds."

Man sees beggar with sign: 'Burned Myself on the light at the end of the tunnel. Please Help.'

'It's not much of a business plan.'

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

"Harry insisted on doing everything himself."

The meek inherit the earth.

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

Drug Rehab Clinic Christmas Menu - Cold Turkey, Cold Turkey...

"I couldn't finish that book either."

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

Roman Emperor using a glad-hand in an amphitheater

'Mercy Business Hospital Office' - 'We accept all major medical plans, credit cards, organs and blood.'

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Bob's photography.

'Could you put the rope round my waist - I've got a boil on my neck!'

"I'd like to see you in six months but I probably won't."

"I think he must have had a death wish"

Everyone agreed, Prudence's trick or treat costume was in extremely poor taste.

"Lovely church. Do you do funerals?"

Man at gunpoint: 'I gave at the office!'

'These photo's are ruined..Not one of them has 'Red eye' ! '

Suicide note.

"When I was your age, I was already carrying several deadly diseases!"

Cricket wife's revenge 8

Arrivals and Departures

'Hey, Fred!' - 'Wassup, Herb?'

'Crack?!...No, I only deal anti-depressants.'

Funeral Director says: 'For future reference, never say to a customer 'Cheer up love, might never happen.''

"Either he's gone - or the net is down."

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

"I told you not to do that!"