Dark Culinary Arts Gifts

Intolerant Chef

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Tartine

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Counting ribs

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Domestic Goddess.

The wonderful world of cheese.

"States of tofu"

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Soup of the month.