Foodie With A Dark Humor Gifts

"For your last meal, don't order Chinese. You'll be hungry again in an hour."

"How can you be out of wings?"

hard-boiled egg...

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'The Burrito King.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

The Main Types of Cheese

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Banana Split Personality

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Jewish Geometry

Diner

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

Baloneystini

'What do you do with the thumbs?'