Foodie With A Dark Humor Gifts

"For your last meal, don't order Chinese. You'll be hungry again in an hour."

"How can you be out of wings?"

hard-boiled egg...

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'The Burrito King.'

Banana Split Personality

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Jewish Geometry

Diner

'What do you do with the thumbs?'

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Baloneystini

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."