Dance Party Host T-Shirts

'Nice of them to invite us to a dance.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Wine Lady

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Join me in a Martini?

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

Party time.

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Gesundheit!"

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

Barbecue

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Mini Bar

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'