Dairy Dodgers Pillows

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

'sugar and spice my eye.'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

"My doctor thinks I should lose weight but everyone at the doughnut shop said she's crazy."

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

Motivation

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

"Sorry Matilda, but we're going to have to let you go...on the bright side, I hear they're hiring over at Chik-Fi

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

What's in the milk today?

Wild life liberation front take 'live yoghurt' from shop.

"This is my exercise routine, and this is my routine to avoid that exercise routine."

Slimming Club: New Members Entry.

New Milks