Cynical Cartoon Collector Pillows

'Congratulations!... You're our one millionth dissatisfied customer!'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

A large leaf falling on a dog

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

"Greetings, Earthling - Are you a worker or a drone?"

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

The Karate Kitten.

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

Broken since March

"....Climate change is a hoax folks...believe me I know....fake news."

'We're all experts in one thing or another. For instance, I consider myself something of a specialist in fluid dynamics...'

To diet or not...?

"Nothing pays off more than a million dollars donated to the political campaigns of a few key politicians!"

"I know we're supposed to get rid of 'superbugs', but ours is the only one that understands the IT systems!"

Natural Selection: Animal Defense Mechanisms

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'