Cynical Cartoon Collector T-Shirts

'Congratulations!... You're our one millionth dissatisfied customer!'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

A large leaf falling on a dog

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"Behold! My greatest improvement to fatherhood. She cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, burps, and farts. What's more...she self-identifies as a father!"

"Greetings, Earthling - Are you a worker or a drone?"

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

The Karate Kitten.

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

What did I tell you two about somersaults?

When Someone Says Biden Sucks, You Are Supposed to Have a Good Answer

'Overruled, you may continue.'

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

Hades Movie Awards After Show. The dealy sins were all here -- They love walking the red carpet! Pride won tonight for a leading role and envy won for a supporting role. Wrath was seen yelling at at the paparazzi ... Lust tried to meet beautiful actresses ... and Gluttony rushed off to the buffet. Greed is already counting all the money he'll make because he won an award. And when sloth won, he received the night's biggest ovation ... because he was too lazy to give an acceptance speech!

Broken since March

"He's in training for the World Cup."

'I want to talk about your efforts to increase sales, Robert.'

"....Climate change is a hoax folks...believe me I know....fake news."

'We're all experts in one thing or another. For instance, I consider myself something of a specialist in fluid dynamics...'

To diet or not...?

"I know we're supposed to get rid of 'superbugs', but ours is the only one that understands the IT systems!"

"Nothing pays off more than a million dollars donated to the political campaigns of a few key politicians!"

Natural Selection: Animal Defense Mechanisms