Cyclone Conqueror T-Shirts

Many have lived through the eye, but only Marvin has survived being in the anus of the cyclone.

'My feet are killing me.'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

The trim reaper

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

Firefigher arm-wrestling with a dragon.

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

Access Denied!

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."

A Learning Curve.

Delighted worker being propelled through the air on the back of the scale coming right off the chart

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

"This next tune is a one-chord song about how hard it is to learn a second chord."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."

Vikings behind you, a scary monster to the side...

"He's mad because smart trash bags that take themselves out don't exist yet."

"Sealed for your diets protection."

"We need a miracle. Who runs that department?"

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

"At least it's not as busy as last night!"

"12 isn't a bad score on the hole. You did stray and some of those windmills are quite tricky!"

Vaccine Coming

'My trainer is a touch task master.'

Attila is No. 1! We heart Attila! Hooray for Attila! Attila is the man! Yell your king my warriors and I want his castle! Who shall I say is calling?

'Dave dropped out. He had chest pains and trouble breathing. They think he may have competitive heart failure.'

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

"These will make you feel like a kid again... especially when you can't remove the child-proof cap!"

"The classics can be so intimidating."

"Ahhh, there's nothing like the fifteenth cup of the day."