Cycling Enthusiast Gifts

"Take some identification with you in case you die."

"I shaved my entire body and spent $2,600 on lighter bike components. Guess who's riding .04 miles per hour faster now?"

'Did you order meals on wheels?'

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

Penny farthing dreaming of mountain bike

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"I wouldn't mind going for a bike ride,but I don't have any clothes that look stupid enough."

Tandem Stoker Not Pedaling.

Man falling off bike at finish line.

'It has ten speeds but only one has been used.'

Lawn Mower Bike.

The trim reaper

'He's the only one who passed testing.'

Darwin said it is Survival of the Fittest.

'OK, George. I'm Lance Armstrong, you're an indispensable member of my racing team, and I've got a bike pointed right at the French media...'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

Last place

"Thank goodness Edwin got a paper route to help pay for prescriptions not covered by Medicare."

'The mudguards don't work.'

'I knew I shouldn't have had those beans this morning!'

'Cycling gives you a nosebleed? Try lowering the saddle. Next...'

Tour de pothole.

Bernard Hinault

Very drunk professional cyclist

We must consider the health aspects of cycling... Yes, we heard you fell off your bike!

The eternal quest - 'There's gotta be a fireplug around here somewhere!'

"I sweared to avoid someone who was reading a cycling facilities leaflet"

Mr. Punch cycling

Miguel Indurain

All Roads Go Nowhere.

Chris Froome

Fish riding penny-farthing.

Tour de France 2007 finishes.

'You replaced our wedding photo with a cycling photo, and you have the nerve to ask why I'm upset?'

Cyclist on drugs.