Cyberspace Scribes T-Shirts

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Monks sitting at a row of computers typing up old-fashioned looking manuscripts.

Alexander Pope

Waiting Room For Godot.

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

Computer literate Monk

'It's the new directive from Brussels. We're to steal from everybody and give directly to the banks.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"Johnson's our head of forecasting, he alos works part-time as a successful science fiction writer."

"Listen, you'll take another break after Deuteronomy and I'll make you some chicken noodle soup."

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

'Hold the front page, Brother Cuthbert!'

Trump and social media

Monk writing the scriptures on a roll

'Precise, analytical and beautifully reasoned address. Now condense it down to a snappy sports metaphor.'

"He calls it the eBible."