Cybersecurity Aficionado Pillows

'The only way I had to get your attention was to send you that computer virus.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'Give me your money. No, not the entire wallet, just swipe your credit card.'

IT security.

"You're either dead, pregnant or our systems been hacked again!"

"It's the only way that I can remember all my passwords..."

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

"Our foreign policy boils down to: an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, a hack for a hack."

E-mail

"Meet my very first dog! I've named her 'Security Question.'"

'Where was the TSA?'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

CCTV in church.

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"I think earth's antivirus software expired."

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"