Cybernetic Comedian Pillows

Addiction to mobile phones

Terry had a computer bug.

Hardware and software

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

'It does data processing, word processing and list processing. Get me some data, some words and some lists.'

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

Religion and technology.

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

A frat party at an online university

'Before you say anything, just let me change my Facebook status to ‘it's complicated'.'

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'What's the point? We're never going to be able to compete with online piracy.'

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

"I thought about having children, until I found out they take nine months to download."

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

"You have exceeded the maximum number of incorrect password attempts."

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