Cybercafe Dweller T-Shirts

It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem?! I'm an atheist. How come there's no national holiday for that? There is! It's called "Christmas"! The ads and the marketers have sucked everything religious out of it. Nothing in the Bible says "thou shalt shop." Good point.

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

Spooning

Wifi whore

Homepage, sweet homepage.

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"Eeeeek!!! My okay to this one night stand must have been faked by Cambridge Analytica!!"

"Mom, what's the password to access dad?"

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

Meet The People in the Bookstore Café Staring at Their Laptops 2-4 p.m.

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

The End of the Worker Bees

"Can you play with him for a while? His battery died."

"Siri, am I ready to take a look at the dessert menu?"

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

Abandon all hope of Wifi ye who enter here

"For heaven's sake, son...go out and MIX!"

'First we were out-gunned by the criminals...now we're out-dunked at the donut shop!'

"He'll never be good enough to snatch this pebble from my hand."

I hear we're called gen txt. It's demeaning. Suggests our lives revolve 'round shallow misspelled missives. No dout! You're not helping me here. Y U usin big words? Hirz link 2 utube vid of cat pukin. Awsum!

"GrumpyHumans.com"

Man sees eatery, 'Mom's Cyber Cafe', below it reads, 'Formerly Mom's Diner'.

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

"This guy's good!"

'I think you spend far too much time in front of those video games!'

Coffee Cafe

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

It's the Ask Sadie Advice hour. "Shmernie" in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to accomplish my goal but just as I think I'm about to make it happen, it gets snatched out from under me. Give it up, "Shmernie"! It's over! This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment form "Shmoses.

"How long have I been typing on a waffle maker."

"My parents are so busy checking the computer that they never think of this."