Cyber Snoop Gifts

"My life must really be boring. I asked the guy why he hacked into my social media and he replied that reading it helps him get to sleep a night."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"So who is this First pet?"

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"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Computer Crimes

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

Vacancy at the Ecuadoran Embassy

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"I think Baxter needs a break."

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

I'd rather be phishing.

CIA Recommended TVs

"With all the cybercrimes corporate had to bring in a new guy, Supergeek."

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

Data security officers run frantically out of reactive data security room, while another data officer relaxes in the predictive data security room.

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

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