Cyber Sloth Pillows

'You've heard of a couch potato? Well he's a mouse potato.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

Homo Zapiens

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Computer Crimes

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

"Your call may be monitored by the CIA, NSA, Russians, Chinese, space aliens..."

"Don't mind me, folks, I'm just here for regular system maintenance."

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"Siblings? yes, I'm one of seven."

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

CIA Recommended TVs

"Remember when they used to call it the 'private sector?'"

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

'Boy, there are days I feel like doing even less than I usually do...'

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."

"With all the cybercrimes corporate had to bring in a new guy, Supergeek."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"You know what I wish? I wish there was a foundation that gave grants just to lie fallow for a year or so."

Data security officers run frantically out of reactive data security room, while another data officer relaxes in the predictive data security room.

Web cams. Web scams

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

'It seems that their databank has all the information that's in our databank, plus information that's not in our databank, plus information about our databank.'