Cyber Crime Strategist T-Shirts

"One day son, all this will be online banking apps."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Internet Cafe.

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

Robot Robber

I'd rather be phishing.

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"He opened his email and saw the attachment from an unknown source. His hand slowly reached to click on the paper clip. He had no idea what horror awaited him. . ."

"This is a special place we have for phishing scammers!"

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

"Millions at risk from identity theft - good thing I'm safe."

'Your honor, no weapons or violence were involved, since my client's breaking and entering were done online.'

"You all know General Petersen from I.T."

Super Highwayman.

'When the Secretary of the Navy signed off with, 'Long live the Ayatollah', I knew we had been hacked.'

A-1 security from crime....

"So many social security numbers, so little time..."

"Pssst! Wanna buy back your browser history?"

Hacker

"There's nothing left. He made sure all his accounts were hacked."

"Don't open that email! Oh... too late."

'Can Jimmy come out and hack into teacher's pension fund?'

Reporter at cybercrime conference asks: 'Should we be focussing on this area when we surely face a greater threat from the Daleks?'

"Keep your soul. We only want to hack your data now."

"...then we program the self-driving truck to hijack itself."

"Confounded hackers."

'If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten!'

"The lengths I have to go to prevent google stealing my data."

Not our department, Sarge. Better get the computer crime boys on the blower.

"Well, this is the moment we've been waiting for - the hacker who stole our identities just got hacked by another hacker who thought he was hacking us."