Cyber Crime Expert T-Shirts

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

Clickbait

"So who is this First pet?"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."