Cyber Chef T-Shirts

'A hacker broke into our home computer and, in an act of random kindness, organized all of my recipes.'

Gross! Get you external hard drive off the dinner table!

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"How can you be out of wings?"

Come dine with me!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Counting ribs

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"States of tofu"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."