Cutlery Connoisseur T-Shirts

'It seems we have a leak! Somebody is letting the left hand know what the right hand is doing.'

Spoonfest

"Crap."

Origin of the 'spork'

Spork

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Full English Breakfast.

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Culinary surgery.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

Slow food restaurant

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

'Only the years when the market was bullish...'

'Tonight's menu is bound in Moroccan leather, with a touch of Flemish calligraphy on hand made paper.'

'Well you little rogue, how do you like this one?!' - Hm, yes, hm, yes ... After all ... well, hm, yes ... hm, yes ... Yes! ...'

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."