Cutlery Connoisseur T-Shirts

'It seems we have a leak! Somebody is letting the left hand know what the right hand is doing.'

'I love it when you spoon me.'

Spoonfest

I know steak knives look cool, son, but the world needs butter knives, too.

"Crap."

Origin of the 'spork'

Spork

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"I come here for the pepper."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Full English Breakfast.

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Culinary surgery.

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

Slow food restaurant

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'