Customer Service Strategists Pillows

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"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Supply Chain

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

'How would you like your toast?'

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

"Well so much for our policy of putting the customer second!"

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"More croutons, sir?"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

Rapunzel's short-lived career in the restaurant business.

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

Communication

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"That's the Ommbudsman."