Customer Service Navigation Pillows

'Please call customer services for assistance with your enquiry.' - 'Gah. Useless website!' - 'Press '1' for sales. Press '2' for customer service.' - '2' - 'Please visit our website at...' - 'Oh, you did not just say that!'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

The fate of the emigrant

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

'I really think we took a wrong turn.'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"Admit it, we're lost."

The Lost World: You are Here

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"Recalculating route..."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

Bicycle sat nav.

You are here.

"I am not asking for directions."

"Well what does the GPS say?"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'