Customer Service Buff Pillows

"Just give me my balance on a piece of paper, put it in the bag, and nobody gets hurt—understand?"

"Yes, our ad said 'no salesman will call,' but I'm a sales REPRESENTATIVE!"

"Sniff...sorry about this, but someone close to me died."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

"Nap time."

'You think you have it rough. Try organizing a waiting room.'

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

Museum of Commerce and gift shop.

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

"If you think my service is bad. . . wait 'til you taste the food!"

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

"I'd recommend this."

'Of course it's cold. We serve breakfast anytime, but we only make it in the morning.'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"Will that be for here or to go?"

"Any chance of some credit?"

"I used to wait tables but I found I was more suited to producing movies."

'Could you show me something that's more feature laden?'

'If he wants your opinion... I'll give it to him!'

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

'Our customer service was lousy, but from now on, we'll give the personal touch. Let's write to 'Hey lassies and dudes, what's up?'

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

The competition's customer vs our customer.

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."

Grocery store has no data team to help with customer's shopping experience.