Customer Psychology Detective Pillows

'I don't get it...Our business model was exactly the same.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

Hipster Police Department

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

"We need to talk about procrastination."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

"$68,000? You said that deceptive ad would cost me $23,000."

"Hola! Tia Carmen's psychic hotline! Can I tell you where your lousy cheating boyfriend is right now?"

As an experienced counsellor, she could see that their relationship had been doomed from the start.

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

"I'm guessing it's too soon in the relationship for me to totally creep you out."