Customer Feedback Specialist T-Shirts

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

Should not have put that suggestion in the suggestion box.'

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

Giving feedback is a complex process.

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"I'm afraid that due to a recent reorientation of forward facing customer resource functionality you're going to have to make the complaint to yourself... in triplicate."

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

Suggestion box, one for suggestions and one for 'clean' suggestions.

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

Four Types of Critics

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

GPC negotiators will only take on 'merited criticism'.

'I'm keen on precise statistics as the next person...'

Constructive Criticism Area.

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

'You suck.'

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

'Suggestions' / 'e-Suggestions'.