Employee Feedback Consultant T-Shirts

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

'Does anyone else have any complaints?'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

Standardisation: "I don't understand...it fitted us OK!"

Suggestion Box

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

'-Must remember to empty that...'

Four Types of Critics

Bureau of Missing Persons, "He works flextime and we have direct deposit, so it took me a few months to notice he was gone."

'Of course, at first, there was some resentment but now the chaps seem to have accepted things graciously.'

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"Don't distress yourself, when I said he was on our critical list, I just meant that he's been critical about the food, the staff, and everything else!"

When staffing agencies screw up.

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

GPC negotiators will only take on 'merited criticism'.

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

"I write these in my manager's handwriting, so no one will hate me."

'… and I'm not sure what you're insinuating here Mrs. Collins, but we hired Ms. Tiffany here based on assets applicable to the job.'

'Well, what about the two month gap in my reume? I fell into my sofa at home.'

Will work for 6-figure salary, excellent health care plan, and generous retirement package.

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'Don't look at this as a demotion, look at it as the stripping away of your last shred of dignity.'

'Suggestions' / 'e-Suggestions'.