Customer Experience Professional Pillows

"Why don't you try THIS instead?"

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'How would you like your toast?'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

"Fresh-raked leaves?"

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

"Providing the kind of service the customer is paying for could be a serious hassle."

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

'My after-dinner mint was bigger than my steak.'

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

'John, this is where you should declare your underlying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

"Sorry sir, I wasn't sure if you said check or stripe."

"You get free veggies when you order meatloaf -- We call it the 'peas dividend.'"

He's allergic to pepper...

'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.'