Customer-centric Leader Pillows

"There, that's better" - customer focus.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Leadership in the Covid-19 Era

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

CEO du Jour

Satya Nutella

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'I have been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!'

Direct Marketing...

"I'm telling you, she's the best in her field."

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'In my rise to the tip I was always aware of a higher power - now I feel I'm ready to take it on.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'As meetings go that was one of my better ones!'

'Great job at today's meeting, Dunwoody. You're finally discovering your own voice as a yes-man!'