Customer Care Knight Gifts

Complaints department...

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"Take this mission statement and rewrite it so that it sounds like we care about our customers."

'I take it his performance review went well.'

DING DONG!

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Whoa, you're right! I didn't know we even sold dragon insurance.

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

The competition's customer vs our customer.

Customers are not buying your products. . . but solutions to their problems.

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."

'I thought she'd never leave.'

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

"Thank you for calling the honesty foundation, your call in unimportant to us, so leave a message for us to laugh at when you hear the tone..."

'Oh no. A Y1K virus.'

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."

'Yep, this model was recalled. But you're the first customer to bring back a used one.'

"And that is where we started to focus on customer care."

"I want you to share any concerns you have about customer care and I'll see if I can do anything about your whining not completely destroying your career."

"The management consultant recommended a 45% cut in customer services, so you'll have to complain to yourself from now on."

"We've implemented AI, now if we can develop artificial concern for our customers, we'll have it made."

'My name is John and I'm a workaholic!'

"Roger ALWAYS puts out customers FIRST!"

'Went straight to the top a week after 'Customer Care' started.'

'You call this 'opening up'?'

"For success you have to treat customers as individuals...These for example are individuals No 45-09kl and 645-3!"

Don Quixote Video Game

'The customer is King'

'It's the paperwork that you need to fill out to show that we're spending all our time focussing on clients' needs.'

"When were you thinking of trying to get us to call, luv?"

Oh, don't hurt it. Can't you trap it under a glass, or something?'

"The new car smell is inadequate? Don't move! I'll grab our on-site aromatherapist!"

"Don't think of them just as customers, but rather as an infinitely mineable and marketable source of valuable data!"