Cursing Humorist T-Shirts

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'Yes, all at once!'

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Glance Exchange

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"It's just a tree."

"How about a hand."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

'You can't come in here with that.'

"I cross the road to forget."

'The Lemming Book Store'

Self Help / Elf Help.

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'