Curriculum Vitae Virtuosos T-Shirts

"Under 'salary desired', could you be more specific than 'obscene'?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"It's a play on words."

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Dictionary. It's a cordless spell checker!

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

Alexander Pope

When English majors become waiters.

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"Have you considered vlogging?"

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

'The chechako sparged rhamnose into his yerba.'

'They decided to immure the ladrone in a drogue.'

Roget's Brontosaurus.

"Sometimes, from time to time, now and again, at times I wish I'd never been given this Thesaurus."

Dame Edna Sitwell

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

Language, Died The Death of a Thousand Tweets

'Third sentence, second one over...what does that word mean?'

"Spell 'flower'" "F-L-O-W-E-R" "Spell 'onomatopoeia'" "This contest is rigged"

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'