Curriculum Vitae Virtuosos Pillows

"Under 'salary desired', could you be more specific than 'obscene'?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"It's a play on words."

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"This one's for volunteering for field trips. This one's for planning the class holiday parties. . ."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"Of course, that's only a first draft."

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

'Once a donzel, the dyvour now settled for orts.'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

'The chechako sparged rhamnose into his yerba.'

'They decided to immure the ladrone in a drogue.'

Alexander Pope

When English majors become waiters.

Roget's Brontosaurus.

"Sometimes, from time to time, now and again, at times I wish I'd never been given this Thesaurus."

'Third sentence, second one over...what does that word mean?'

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

'The larrikin was shirty because his crowdy wasn't flyless.'

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

"Spell 'flower'" "F-L-O-W-E-R" "Spell 'onomatopoeia'" "This contest is rigged"

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'