Current Affairs Jester Pillows

Senator Giveth Yields to Senator Taketh Away!

'Well, they certainly caught you kipping!'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Mission Kinda Accomplished

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

Books / Coffee table books

A baby in court

Bush farewell.

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"That does it! ISIS is defeated."

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

"...And now show us what you said."

"I'd like an application form for the position of minister, please!"

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

The Deal of a Century

"'Article I. Section 9. Claus B. No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States' - we gotta change that."

Shakespeare today

"I don't plead."

Disorder in the Court!

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

"These days, I'm mostly just legislating from the couch."

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'