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'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

Drunk Barber

Yawning barristers in court

Books / Coffee table books

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"A newspaper has a responsibility to ensure that its readers are fully informed."

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"I got probation."

Justice

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'