Curious Storyteller Gifts

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Meets Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

Wildlife

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

Do Guns Kill?

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

How I met your mother

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"