Curator Competitor Gifts

"Would you like me to get one our experts to tell you what you think of it."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

TV-Man

Misunderstood artist

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

A Snowman using a Pooper-Scooper to pick up his Dog's ice cube Doo Doo

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

Convenience.

The Rise of Modern Art

Frederic Auguste Bartholdi

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Still-Life of New Mexican Grilled Quail with Cilantro and Fennel-Flecked Confit."

Leaves falling out of a painting.

Redecorating Easter Island.

Art of Surviving

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

Closed for Renovation

"Hmmm...I wonder what the artist is trying to say...?"

"He painted 300 pictures in his lifetime. 1000 of which are in England."

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

The hall of bad ideas.