Cunning Shopper Gifts

"I put a wet paint sign on our bench at the mall so we'll have a place to sit."

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Jungle Stores.

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

Unusual Offers

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'Please enter your pin now.'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

Jumble Sale

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

"Does it come with magnets?"

'Gee, these are great, are they dishwasher proof?'

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

'Can we move the beef jerky a smidge and display our organic cleanser?'

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

'Oxygen with that swimsuit ma'am?'

Pet shop with recipes stand outside.

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!