Cultural Norms Pillows

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Och lye the news'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

Scot country dancing,

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

'You can forget about the fertility dance this year - we've already got ten kids!'

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

Alpine Pipe

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

Never refuse their homemade food.

"You think you're brave? I read Hebrew in front of a live audience."

Despite hard evidence to the contrary it was still considered lucky to kiss the Blarney Spike

Rocket charmer.

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

"All I said was, do we have to watch your telenovela tonight."

"Sorry, these are saved."

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

"I'm not sure I like the way Gracie is celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month."