Cultural Evolution Thinker Gifts

"Sometimes I feel like Stone Age guy in Bronze Age world."

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

"I'm sending you an interesting article about declining birth rates."

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

"I think I deserve more than a stub on Wikipedia."

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

'Actually, we don't like the term 'cannibal', we prefer to be called 'homovores'.'

Investments: Buy local! Our 'Value' funds are all New York values.

'This isn't either a fad! -- It's a major breakthrough!'

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

'Not guilty by reason of millions of years of evolutionary selection for aggressive behavior, Your Honor.'

"They learn how to say 'Gracias' and we're supposed to be thankful."

Thomas Hunt Morgan

New York state resources and products

Darwin sculpture evolves.

'Tsk. The modern media is obsessed with sex and violence.'

'It's oil spill. We must be near civilization.'

The Progress Bridge

"I'm as indigenous as you can get. My great-grandfather was born in Brooklyn."

Next stop bloomingdales

Abbey Road Evolution

"My humour needs bringing up to date. Do you think the New School might have something?"

"They're cute. But they'll never catch on..."

'Hey, you. Around here we eat with our mouth open.'

'Bipedalism is a great advance. But now we have to watch out for banana peels.'

Evolving rather quickly today aren't we?

"The toughest part is remembering to hold your breath."

Thinking Man Anxieties