Cultural Discussions Pillows

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

"I wonder if we're talking about the same Grace Jones."

"So … Rachel tells me you're Canadian …"

"This will nver work, David. Your family is significantly less non-obvervant than mine."

"So, it's cultural miss-appropriation, is it?"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Now that was post-modern sex."

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

'Even if you do, never admit that you know everything.'

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

Professional Couples

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

Truth or dare at the philosophy dept.'s lounge

Academics At the Beach

"Well, I'm offended!"

'Oh yeah? -- Well, I have a theory about you!'

Deepwater Fish

"Mother, I'm so sorry — I totally forgot to bring you."

Planck's Constant Nagging.

'Too much genetic generalization trooper are they Sioux, Black Feet or Cheyenne you don't like when they call 'white eyes' or pale face do you?'

"OK...is this character insulting?"

'What do you know about culture?'

Displaying Christian symbol deemed offensive.

'In my experience, for good to triumph over evil, it needs a little help from the NEUTRAL.'

'If you are not deprived, depraved or socially inadequate...then you must be stupid.'

"The way I've got it doped out, postmodern man is all context and fragment."

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

"This evolution show is a crock! There's no way we evolved."

'Interesting theory. Test it on humanity for a generation or two.'