Cult Leader Pillows

'Our cults are very similar, but we're also allowed to talk about squirrels and eat toast.'

"After the Great Seagull Reincarnation, we'll spend eternity stealing sandwiches and defecating as we please."

'Cult? What makes you think it's a cult?'

Butterfly Woman

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Women Supporting Women!"

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Leadership suits you

"What was I thinking?!"

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"Home depot."

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

Go! Means NOW!

The Ascent of Woman

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

"My making two million a year, …. It doesn't make me seem 'Mannish', does it?"

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Changing Minds

'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'

'I give this one about three months...'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."