Culinary Spy Pillows

"It's from the NSA. They've accidentally deleted that risotto recipe. Can you send it again?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Try to guess the continent dining...

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Culinary surgery.

'Hard or soft science?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

GM Crops Genie.

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Turkey Autopsy

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

If Einstein had worked in Fast Food

Horse meat scandal.

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"No, I'm not the waiter. I'm the genetic engineer. How would you like your lamb?"

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"