Culinary Speedster T-Shirts

'Your tests indicate that you have a very short attention span -- you should be either a short-order cook or a news anchorman.'

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

"And we give you sixty seconds to complete your order or Joey does it for you."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'Hey, wait for me!'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

Am Awful Crammer.

Birthday Racing Car

Man running

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"Emergency exits are located on both sides of the cabin...."

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

A souped up car...

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

A woman's work is never done!

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

"Well, come on Son, don't keep us in suspense. Did you pass your driving test?"

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."