Culinary Shortcutter T-Shirts

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Soup of the month.

Garden.

Too much cilantro

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

I love Cannelloni

Holiday Supplies

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"Please don't kill me."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

The perfect man

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

"My compliments to the can opener."

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

"You know, we have our little spats, but we don't argue about what to eat nearly as much as other couples."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'