Culinary Shortcutter T-Shirts

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Soup of the month.

Garden.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Too much cilantro

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

Holiday Supplies

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

I love Cannelloni

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"Please don't kill me."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

The perfect man

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"My compliments to the can opener."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

"You know, we have our little spats, but we don't argue about what to eat nearly as much as other couples."

Horse meat scandal.