Culinary Physicist Gifts

The Hardon Colander.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

6 Brothers Falafel

"You're the lid to my pot."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Picking pastries.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Cookbooks

"Rump roast?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Man's cooking explodes.

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'