Culinary Monotony Buster Gifts

'I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of frozen dinners!'

Soup of the month.

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Two lovers matched by their love of food

Cafe Burns.

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'You made me jump.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

It's all gravy.

"My compliments to the can opener."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

Where cronuts come from.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Cooking With Pollock.

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"How nice. A truffle."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

Thinking outside the box.

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

Out and In.

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'I told you we shouldn't have brought him.'

'Hello, police? There's been a food fight here and I'm afraid the cheese got the worse of it.'