Culinary Mathematician T-Shirts

'If only making the perfect soft-boiled egg was as easy in practice as in theory.'

"Our new math book not only remediates, diagnoses, analyzes,and tests, it also contains fifty quick and delicious recipes for today's on-the-go teacher!"

"If we double the temperature, it'll be finished in half the time."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Soup of the month.

6 Brothers Falafel

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Picking pastries.

Cookbooks

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Rump roast?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Garden.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Too much cilantro

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

I love Cannelloni

Holiday Supplies

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'