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"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

'Your French dip, sir.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

"George often brings his work home with him."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."