Culinary Lexicon Lover T-Shirts

"I'm not a food critic I'm a literary critic and I've found the prose on your menu to be second-rate."

'Your French dip, sir.'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'Pepperoni: Muse of Pizza'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Just for once, can't we have a picnic without your mates turning up to crawl all over the food?'

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

A man and baby wearing bibs

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

"George often brings his work home with him."

"Get the meat loaf—I hit it out of the park today."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

I always forget - is it white with dry food and red with wet food, or the other way around?

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.