Culinary Kings T-Shirts

'Who had the 'Chicken-a-la King'?'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

Canape?

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

In the DNA Kitchen

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Kiss the Commander in Chef

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

Sweet surprise.

You're the icing on my cupcake!

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

"If you're such an expert, you cook the lobster next time."

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

Sushi Train Set.

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

She found baking helped enormously.

"Call this cordon bleu?"

'You're a bright young kid...but you gotta understand, no new ideas when the bread is only half baked!!'

An intergalactic oat bran cluster, about to significantly lower Earth's average cholesterol level.

"Christmas pudcast"

Stand back - while I whip something up

"And that's when I realized that I much preferred making frothy desserts."

Anthony Bourdain with Chopsticks

'My Lee's creative with food. He always customizes his toppings when we phone for pizza.'